“Self-care is health care.” –Suzy Reading, Psychologist and Author
What Can Boundaries Look Like?
Boundaries can take many forms, whether it’s limiting your time, managing expectations, or being clear about what you can and cannot do. Here are some examples:
- Saying No:
- “I’m not able to attend this year.”
- “I appreciate the invite, but I’m staying home this year.”
- “Thank you for thinking of me, but I can’t make it.”
- Setting Limits:
- “I can come, but I need to leave by [set time].” (Use an alert on your phone to help you stick to it.)
- “I can host, but I’ll need volunteers to help with [specific tasks].”
- Expressing Discomfort:
- “I feel uncomfortable when [specific situation].”
- “I’m not discussing politics or [other sensitive topics].
- Making Adjustments:
- “I need some time to decompress; I’ll be upstairs/in my car/outside for a bit.”
- Changing the Approach:
- “Last year felt stressful. Could we try something different this year? Maybe going out to dinner or meeting up for a fun activity instead?”
Practicing Self-Love During the Holidays
It’s not just about setting boundaries with others; it’s also about being kind to yourself. Here are a few tips to prioritize self-love:
- Protect Sensitive Topics:
- “My weight is not a topic for discussion.”
- “I’m focusing on my mental health by [attending peer support groups, taking breaks, or other activities].”
- Offer Alternatives:
- “I can do [alternative suggestion], would that work?”
- Simplify Responsibilities:
- If you’re hosting, simplify the workload: “We’re only cooking three dishes, and everyone else is bringing something.”
- Give Yourself Permission to Pause:
- If you need a moment to step away and recharge, let others know: “I need a quick break to take care of myself.”
Tips to Help You Through
- Practice saying these boundary-setting statements aloud ahead of time.
- Be direct but kind—there’s no need to over-explain.
- Stick to your plans, even if it feels uncomfortable at the moment.
Boundaries are a form of love—for yourself and others. By setting them, you’re creating a space for genuine connection and joy without sacrificing your mental well-being. Remember, you are worth the investment of time, care, and self-compassion.
