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  • Writer's pictureLauren Ellis

You Are Not Alone (Being Alone)

Updated: Apr 3

“There is hope, even when your brain tells you there isn’t.” —John Green

"To say depression is hard doesn't even begin to encompass all that comes with it. Depression can be isolating, exhausting, frustrating, anxiety provoking, and so much more. Depression can impact our ability to be active in our life and it can tell us that we can't or shouldn't do things.

Research has shown that depression impacts more than 17-million Americans. It affects everyone and does not discriminate based on race, ethnicity, gender, orientation, or age. Even though depression doesn't discriminate, it can feel at times like it has only picked us and let's everyone else off the hook. This feeling leads to so many people isolating in the depression pit rather than reaching out and getting support.

It's not easy to ask for help or get support. Depression skews our thoughts stating "No one cares about you". We start to believe these thoughts. As these thoughts run rampant we can find ourselves struggling with our energy. As our energy declines, we start to lack the ability to take care of our basic needs. Then on top of all of this we can see changes to our sleep, concentration, self-esteem, hope, and relationships. It feels like a snowball that's going downhill and picking up speed and growing at every turn.

Depression at times doesn't even show up alone. For some, depression likes to have anxiety, substance use, eating disorders, or health concerns come along for the ride. All of these compounded on one another can weigh on anyone and feel like you're trapped in a never ending cycle. This can lead to feeling hopeless and even thoughts of not wanting to live. The weight of it all can feel like too much to bear.

My intent behind writing this is not to instill further doubt in the ability to get better but to validate and normalize. I want you to know that you are not alone in this and there are people struggling just like you. My hope is to offer insight into how therapy tools and support can help you through this journey. There are many therapeutic tools that can be implemented to help with challenging thoughts, improving behaviors/relationships, and increasing self-care.

One of the major forms of therapy to help depression is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). CBT focuses on building an understanding of how one's thoughts, feelings, and behavior feed off of one another. CBT looks to identify and challenge cognitive distortions (unhelpful thoughts patterns) to help improve our view of ourselves and the world, which in hopes improves one's feelings and behavior.

While CBT is effective, other forms of therapy offer additional tools to help build awareness, understanding, and management of symptoms, actions, and feelings. Therapies such as Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) and Acceptance & Commitment Therapy (ACT), can help with learning distress tolerance, emotion regulation, how to not get hooked by our thoughts, and explore ways to live by our values. These skills can help regulate co-occurring anxiety symptoms, somatic (body) sensations, improve communication, and recognize our wants/needs.

In the end, I want to say there is hope. It takes work but the tools and skills can help improve life. I know it may be hard to reach out but just know when you're ready, there are helping hands."

Author: Lauren Ellis, LMFT

If you feel like you can benefit from group therapy, please email us at and let us know which group you’d be interested in joining, or call (888) 588-8995 and a New Member Expert can help you sign up.


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What is DBT? Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) is a type of cognitive behavioral therapy developed by Marsha Linehan at the University of Washington. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy attempts to help i

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